Bird’s-Eye: Once upon a time on teh internets, there was a scary web site called 4chan, where lots of bad children (all of whom had the name “anonymous”) went to play because there were no rules and anyone could do anything they wanted. And as happens in such places, some wonderful creative things were done, such as the collaborative story we bring you this week. Then there’s a great magic story about the integer that exists between three and four. And from the other end of the quality scale, we bring you the winners of this year’s Bulwer-Lytton contest, which strives to create the worst possible opening sentence to a story.

* God and You anonymous 4chan (Click to embigify)

* The Secret Number, by Igor Teper

“Who are you talking about, Professor? Who wants everyone to think you’re crazy?”

“The numbers, Doctor, the numbers. They say that numbers don’t lie, only they do, they lie all the time, they’ve always lied. But not to me — oh, no, I see through their deceptions, I know what they’re hiding,” said Ersheim. He started rocking again. “

And what would that be, Professor?”

“Bleem, that’s what. Bleem!” shouted Ersheim, banging his fists against the desk. He then leaned close to Tomlin and whispered, “The secret integer between three and four.”

* The Winners of the 2010 Bulwer-Lytton Contest

Grand winner: For the first month of Ricardo and Felicity’s affair, they greeted one another at every stolen rendezvous with a kiss–a lengthy, ravenous kiss, Ricardo lapping and sucking at Felicity’s mouth as if she were a giant cage-mounted water bottle and he were the world’s thirstiest gerbil.