6. It’s Hell, Pure and Simple

May-21-2010 | Comments (0)

Bird’s-Eye: What is hell to you? We offer three options: trendy nightclubs, an unwinnable game, and hell. Yes, Hell is hell even for those who work there….

* Nightclubs are Hell The Guardian

Clubs are despicable. Cramped, overpriced furnaces with sticky walls and the latest idiot theme tunes thumping through the humid air so loud you can’t hold a conversation, just bellow inanities at megaphone-level. And since the smoking ban, the masking aroma of cigarette smoke has been replaced by the overbearing stench of crotch sweat and hair wax.

Clubs are such insufferable dungeons of misery, the inmates have to take mood-altering substances to make their ordeal seem halfway tolerable. This leads them to believe they “enjoy” clubbing. They don’t. No one does. They just enjoy drugs. Drugs render location meaningless. Neck enough ketamine and you could have the best night of your life squatting in a shed rolling corks across the floor. And no one’s going to search you on the way in. Why bother with clubs?

* Tetris Hell

Go on, just try one game of it….

* This Job is Hell Winston Rowntree Subnormality Comix







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